But like most people living busy lives with hectic schedules, we don’t ever make enough time to sit down and talk in person, face to face, not on our cell phones, trying to catch up while our children in the back of the car compete for our attention. Hence, our first promise: To sit down and give each other the real attention we deserve and crave from one another: The attention of our heart, the good old fashioned conversation that seems to be losing it’s place in our world of emails and text messaging.
The conversation begins with how all great yoga begins, with a question. With many questions. And not just arbitrary or obligatory ones, but real questions. Ones that evoke the right amount of space for our thoughts, one that kindly reminds us to pause and consider what we really want to pay attention to; so that when we make our promises, we know it is something that is coming straight from that soulful, heartfelt place, not just another impulsive demand that we set up to congest or overwhelm our lives.
You see, unless you have spent the past few weeks in savasana, you might find it hard to miss the latest inspiration that has pervaded the walls, the emails and the post class announcements at the Joint, the 32 day yoga challenge that we have coined, “The Promiseland.” After sitting down with Donna on the floor of our new joint within the Joint (our “becushioned” lounge) about what it means to make promises in our lives, and how these commitments can either help stoke the fire of a very needed passion renaissance, or conversely, be the very thing that adds to a burdening lists of obligations and expectations that burn us out, in the true Saraswati Yoga fashion, Donna and I sought to eek more out of our promises not just the “keeping” of them. But to redefine, reexamine, hell, re-create the whole notion of what a promise truly means. And we realized that by doing so, that by taking the time to step back from all the business, we gave ourselves the attention needed to realize what promises we want to make. Now, it’s your turn. Take some time. Whether it is on your own, or with a dear friend and have the conversation so you can decide what promises you really want to make.
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This is very exciting, thanks for opening the door to a whole slew of promises I intend to keep (or least I'll try!) :)
ReplyDeleteI know its 3:45am but can you see the big smile on my face? During Luke's 3am feed time I get to catch up on my day...and this was a wonderful thing to get to catch up on. :-) I attended a wedding this weekend and was reminded of how honest and pure the promises are that we make to our spouse on our wedding day. Promises filled with true intention and a shared desire to fulfill the every wish of our spouse. My husband has Always felt strongly about making a promise to one another only if we know we can make good on it when we Say we are going to make good on it. The promise could be as simple as making sure I pick up something he needs or getting home when I say I'm going to be home. Its a harder task than one might imagine even when all we want to do is ensure the others happiness. Part of why this works for us though is because it enables us to really reflect on what we truthfully need from each other and when. Living this way also allows for us to reflect on our individual needs and expectations and to try to be realstic about them. My promise throughout the course of The Promiseland '09 is to extend this principle in my marriage to others in my immediate circle and my community.
ReplyDeleteThe day after The Girls told the staff about the idea of "The Promiseland" I had a first time phone appointment with a life coach and she opened her explanation of what was to come with, "we start with a promise." Well, I was convinced! My first homework assignment was to write my dream version of several areas of my life as if it were presently true. Next I wrote the actual present situation and compared the two. With these contrasts began a conversation with myself, my husband, my clients, my family. In order to not overwhelm myself I have been working on a few key areas and watching my own struggles, patterns and triumphs. My husband has been a key role player, my "check-in buddy," to help me put my progress in some perspective (that is in and of itself a challenge: how not to overreact to his suggestions!). What I am learning is not how to make a promise and not even how to keep one (still working on those!) but rather that these promises hold a weight greater than the promise themselves. There are ways I dream to live my life and steps to achieve those dreams. My promises are those steps. My dreams are worth it.
ReplyDeleteHere I am on Promiseland Eve and I feel the pressure of a deadline...what is my promise? I've had several ideas over the past month or so of how to frame this experience for myself and while I seem to have many little goals, like drink more water, give my husband more affection, finish a book that I start, spark up more conversation at home beyond the "how was your day,"and be more conscious of the way that I consume what I eat, the common thread overall seems to be one of awareness in the little things. A little patience; a little breath.
ReplyDeleteWe talk so much about process, transitions, connections as yogins, yet it's a real challenge to make the mundane life seamless yet full. An experienced yogi makes the asana look easy, yet the asana still holds it's extraordinary shape and beauty. And so as I write, I already have more interest in making the next 32 days matter, or essentially hold meaning, but in a real easy way. I'm not talking big picture here, I'm talking about zooming in. And in order to make myself accountable for the process, my promise is to write everyday (don't worry - not necessarily here on this blog). Through the written word, I promise to take interest in the experience of a day, without jumping to the next big thing.
I have to admit I have been a bit apprehensive about committing to any promise right now at this point in my life. For those who haven’t seen me waddle up the stairs of the Joint, I am just days away from having a baby. The thought of making any sort of “extra” commitment does not sound all that appealing. I would love to be able to say I promise to practice asana ever day or do something that involves me beinging joy to the greater community; but let’s be honest, there are going to be days during the next month when I barely even get out of bed let alone roll out my mat and days when I may not see anyone but the family. So for the past few days I have really put a lot of thought into what sort of promise I want to make. My promise has evolved over the course of different experiences stressing me out due to my inability to make a decision. The most obvious being the inability to make a decision on what my promise will be. After hearing or reading other “promiselanders” share their intentions for the month, I automatically found myself saying, “That’s a good one, I want to do the same!” Or I found myself unclear of what to do in certain situations in fear of disappointing or insulting someone else. My revelation came when I was home cleaning out my daughters’ playroom. I am in my nesting stage full force. I am trying to de-clutter my house and find myself stressing out and hemming and hawing over what is worthy of holding onto and what I can get rid of. This is a perfect example of why I intend to be more decisive during then next month. The purging of the unnecessary so that I can gain more sense and understanding of what I really need and want is my intention- to be more true to my own inner voice and remember that it is as important as my loved ones’ needs and wants. I hope that this promise will not only free me of some very unnecessary stress but also do the same for the people I surround myself with.
ReplyDeleteSo here it is, I am committing to it in writing:
I promise to give my own inner voice the same respect and weight as I do to the people I interact with. When I am feeling overwhelmed I will take time to check in with myself; be it for a few minutes, hours, or even for just a single breath.
Now it is out there for all to read and hopefully support me as needed. I look forward to being part of each and everyone’s promise in some way. Even if I may not be at the joint physically on most days please know that I am with you the whole way.
After reading this blog, I was so inspired to really investigate what it was I wanted. I thought of all the big and small things I craved in my life: making more connections to the people I love, practicing patience, making dinners every night and not depending on Amy's frozen burritos... Speaking and thinking about what we aspire for seems to shine the light on the actions we take, and so the conversations we have with ourselves and with others are PART of the promise! I, too, have started writing more, and it feels so good to express myself creatively again. I hope this month unfurls more surprises about what it is I want to promise myself.
ReplyDeleteSo many goals, so many well-meaning intentions. I look at certain aspects of my life and know there's room for improvement. Whether its being more motivated to clean the house and beign organized or getting to the gym, to simply being more patient with my own children and myself; I find I make so many promises to myself, only to fall short somewhere and criticize myself for it. It's really quite counterproductive when you consider that life is about experiencing love and joy; to live in the moment and truly savor life. It's so easy to get caught up in the future and the "what ifs" or get dragged into the past with all the "if onlys". For a while I was so good about enjoying my present moment by framing every statement in the present tense and it helped so much to create the future as I wanted it. Life happens however, and I lost sight of the person who was so upbeat and positive. Only now, as I inch ever closer to the dream of becoming a yoga teacher; a dream that has been beckoning to become realized, do I once again become aware of the power of my thoughts and my words to create the future that I desire.
ReplyDeleteSo, as I think about the promises I've made over and over to myself, only to fall short so many times, I realize they are small potatoes in comparison to what really matters to me. I promise to do my best to stay in the present moment and to remain positive. Should I find myself being critical, I promise to be more nurturing and accepting of myself and others.