Inspiration oozes out of The Joint, this blog, and each and every person in the SYJ community. The studio calls my name daily with its warm and welcoming voice. Upon arrival it draws me in with open arms and it feels like home. Each and every word within these posts and comments hit home. And yet I have to think and rethink again and again what I would like my word to be. For me making and keeping a promise is a difficult challenge. Sharing and articulating my promise is another and truthfully a quite daunting one.
If you ask my close family and friends, they will say I am of few words. I am a quiet thinker. On March 1, 2009 I realized how frightening and then how prolific it can be to share your words. It was the end of the first weekend of SYJ Teacher Training. I was asked to lead the closing meditation. I immediately started to sweat (of course!). What would I say? Would my words matter? Would they mean anything to anyone? Where am I even going to find these words? I hesitantly made my way to the front of the room. Stumbled to find my seat and asked everyone to close their eyes. With that my mouth opened and the words flowed. I saw tears, smiles and felt an overwhelming amount of warmth and acceptance. The adrenaline I felt compares to none other. It was a moment I will never forget and one I am oh so grateful for.
And so I make my promise. A promise that is twofold: to share my thoughts with others, to go beyond the surface, to engage in meaningful conversations and in return to listen wholeheartedly. This is not a promise to force meaning into every conversation for the next 31 days, but one to open the door when it presents itself and to not shy away for fear of feeling stupid or being judged. So with my promise comes a warning to my husband, family and friends….my words are coming your way.
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Oh Jenna, I struggle with expressing myself sometimes, too. I think it's about trusting that your thoughts are just as important as everyone else's. When we communicate, truthfully, what we're thinking and how we're feeling, we create bonds with people. And it feels so good to be heard. I can't wait to hear you.
ReplyDeleteI was incredibly moved by your post, Jenna. What a courageous, patient and honest self-reflection. I think that is what is striking me so much about all these posts so far, the deep way that all of you are considering what truly is worth valuing and exploring in yourselves right now. Really, this way of thinking and articulation is how huge movements of transformation happen to whole communities, whole worlds. So positive. Can we all see that?
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