Promise in progress

My father is a quiet thinker. So much so that my brother, sister and I would always say “he’s in it right now”. He gets this look on his face where he puffs out his cheeks and stares off into another world. It only takes a second to know he’s here but not here. Fortunately or unfortunately, I inherited this trait. As much as I hate to admit it, I spend so much time off in my other world. Though I would like to think I am the only one that knows about my time spent elsewhere, clearly as seen with my father, I am not. That simple realization brought about my promise to talk aloud, to share my thoughts with others. It sounded simple. Just talk more. Oh but it truly frightened me. We all know how difficult it is to break highly developed habits. Deep down I knew that if I could share more of myself, if I could give others my full attention, my relationships would deepen immensely.

Sometimes I wish I could flip a switch and the change would be made. But I also know that wouldn’t be as rewarding. It’s the things in life that take time and honest dedication that bring about the most abundant rewards. I practiced violin for almost 15 years before playing at Carnegie Hall. This promise I have made to myself and really to others is worth all the time in the world. After just one month I see a change. It may be small but it is there. I may be able to count the number of attempts I have made but now there is something to count, something that counts.

If you feel that you have lost motivation, just take a look around. When I woke up this morning my dog Ysabelle, luckily was not sleeping on my head but next to my head, gave me a morning kiss. Then came the smile from my husband. Our mornings are filled with thoughts shared aloud and lots of laughter. We’ve had mornings like this for over five years now but it was just this morning that I realized our mornings together are sacred. I fully participated in each moment and each moment was truly beautiful. There wasn’t anything that was necessarily different about this morning just that I chose to see the beauty that has been right in front of my eyes.

As we reach the end of our 32 day journey together, I am realizing that 32 days is just not enough. However, 32 days is enough to see that promises can be made, promises can be kept and most importantly promises can be positive affirmations of who we are. Now we just need to keep the progression going. I want to, don’t you?